I'm definitely falling. Falling in love with a boy. Falling in love with an idea of a boy. Falling. That's all I can say. I want to hear it from him, that we are an item, a thing. Exclusive. He won't mess around with other girls. It's hard. He's there, I'm here. But that's what I think we need. We need to build the emotional connection, the get to know you stage. The physical connection is there for sure. Nobody could deny that. He can't deny that. But how long do you wait? It's been 7 years! He can't commit... Or can he? He owns a house. He figures stuff out, but it's hard to jump into one girl forever, especially when you can't dent she's the one. Is this what he's thinking? I wish I knew what he was thinking. I always push too hard and they run away. I don't sant him to run away. But how do I let him know what I am feeling and find out what he is feeling if I don't push a little? He's closed off a little, he doesn't share unless you push. I just don't want to go too far because I think, I know, I hope he's THE one. Help!

How do you know hes the one? What if I'm not his one? How can there be soo much chemistry but no commitment? I want to be with him so terribly bad, but the timing is always off. It's been 7 years. SEVEN! Hard to believe. But there is still a spark. It just needs the fuel to make it burn. Can I get some of that fuel, please? I am in some aspects tired of waiting. If not for him in particular, for any him that can ce THE him. I want a family and a home that is my own. I want to wake up and have him there. I want to go to sleep knowing he isn't going anywhere. I want family game night and laughs and special moments. I want romance and mystery and everything. I want someone to call me their own. I want my identity in another. It's belonging, being wanted, desired. I want that connection, that security. I want the ups and downs and inside outs. The bad, the good. Why am I set to wait soo long? You know this is my desire. Reveal to me the one. Give me that relationship. Shine the light in this area of my life. I don't want to be alone anymore.