This is it?

So, this is life. One dramatic pitfall after another. I cannot find a job that keeps my attention longer than a month and I suck at relationships. Really. I don't know who to talk to other than my little blogger friend here that no one really reads. I am burying myself in a pit of self loathing and it is hard to find a way out.  I really need something to go right. Something positive, now. Not something that is building to positivity later. I need a result. Something to let me know that I can keep pressing on and it will one day all be worth this suffering. (Minimal suffering, as it could always be worse, but seems terrible in the state that I am currently in.) I am crying out and am on my knees, begging for some mercy to keep me going. I often feel as if I should just give up, just stop what I am doing and remain in this self pity. I truly know that nothing can satisfy me but my relationship with Christ, but a few things here on Earth would be fantastic. Something to stop the tears from forming every time I get another blow. I am torn, tattered and bruised and I just need ice or a bandage or something. Close one wound so I can work through the pain of the next.