I have to remember - HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND! I need to just relax for a while because I think my emotions are getting out of control. I don't like the power that I am giving him over me. I am waiting by the phone, looking for his emails - this is RIDICULOUS - I am done. He cannot take this control. No matter what happens or what is planned, I will not give him the power over me unless he gives me a commitment. I need to find my thoughts somewhere else...
Psalm 25:5 Lead me in your truth and teach me for you are the God of my salvation, for you I wait all the day long.
How appropriate - my thoughts need to be with the Lord, not worried about a boy. It's so difficult wanting a husband and a whole family so badly and waiting on the Lord to provide it. I know if it is willed, it will happen. It's so hard. I want to believe it, but my soul is aching for that companionship. It is so decietful and almost tricky. Joe gives me half of that now... but I want it all and I don't know if he is just afraid to commit or if he is playing a game. I really wish he could be honest about his feelings and then be honest with me. Ugh... this boy, what spell has he cast on me?
